Next to Normal Night

I saw NEXT TO NORMAL last night. It's a Broadway musical. It was nominated for like 237 awards and won most of them. It's about a family with a dead kid and a Mom that can't get over it. And they sing about it a lot.

I know I'm alone in my viewpoint here, but were the producers just sitting around watching Ordinary People and thinking..."you know what this tragic family drama needs? SONGS!" ?

In general, I 'm not a fan of dreary musicals. If it's happy or funny, add music. If it's sad, make it a play. Please don't make me watch you sing about Leukemia, the Holocaust or A.I.D.S. - unless you're making it hilarious. And I've seen RENT. Not hilarious. It's just folks singing about A.I.D.S. and dying and dying from A.I.D.S. It's not as funny as it sounds.

But, critics love it.

And critics loved NEXT TO NORMAL. They even gave the lead actress, Alice Ripley, every best actress award they could find. I think they even made up a few of them on their computers at home. (One award was just covered in yogurt lids.)

They really love this lady.

And I will say that she seems like a fine actor and her voice clearly has range. The only thing is, she sings...like the Swedish Chef. Yes, I mean the Muppet character.

The first time it happened, I thought it was a little flub. Whatever the line was, it ended in the English word, "Fear" which was pronounced, "Feeyewer".

I struck my ear as unbelievably odd...clearly a little mistakey-poo. But then, I found out over the ensuing hours...nope...she meant to do that. That's just how she sings. For no discernable reason, she swallows words and makes them all Bjorky. She'll be perfectly non-muppet for a few words, lull you into believing it won't happen again, and then she pops out a "GEWD" (GOOD) or an "AFFAHR" (AFFAIR) out of the blue and assaults your ears again without warning.

"Now I see her, feel the FUUUR! (FIRE)
Now I NEW (KNOW) she needs me THUUR (THERE) to SHAAR (SHARE)
I'm NOWAHR (NOWHERE)"

I looked around. Surely everybody there was as distracted as I was by this super bizarre phenomenon. But, they all just sat there, delighted and peaceful.

Thank God for my friend, Thomas. The second we broke for intermission, I asked, "what do you think?"

He replied, "Yeah, it's good; but what's the deal with that lady? Is she overcoming some kind of defect or just singing like that to win a bet?"

It has to be the latter because I looked it up and there is no earthly reason for Ripley's Muppet voice. She's not Norwegian or born with mugglewumps on her larynx. She's from San Leandro, California. She's a pure-bred, English-speaking, American bi-ped. Which means someone TRAINED her to do that. ON. PURPOSE.

And I guess people love it. In New York, she's a demi-God. In other words, they've heard her sing - with their ears - and liked it anyway.

I, however, found it SUPER distracting. I actually enjoyed parts of the show. The daughter was great; very believable as an awkward, sarcastic teen. She had a nice voice that came out sounding just like a human person. So, that was a a nice relief. And Dad was just like a Dad/husband guy should be. He had a nice, pleasant man-voice. The dead son guy was a little over-the-top, musical theater gay for me. (Lots of knee bending, quick turns and jazz-hands), but on the whole, he was fine.

Everyone was good.

It's just hard to watch when you're praying that Miss Scandinavian vowels doesn't sweep in and ruin whatever song you were starting to enjoy. And this is one of those talky/singy musicals where even the most banal dialogue is sung. And she's the lead, so you're never really safe from her chiming in. It was an aural minefield. I was exhausted by the end.

Even though I'd give this musical my "Most Likely to Forget By New Year" Award. (Add it to their pile of accolades), it was a decent production. They have some money behind it and a lot of talent on the stage. And, most importantly, it gave Thomas and me a reason to speak in Swedish Chef accents for the rest of the night. So, I'm glad I went. Theater is about amusement and distraction. For perhaps the wrong reasons, I got both.