Quick Conversations with Mom: Tina Fey's Bossypants

I mumble and my mother has fuzzy hearing. This winning combination leads to some of my favorite phone conversations.
Here's a recent single from our miscommunication hit parade:

Me: I'm reading Tina Fey's Bossypants.

Mom: What word are you saying?

Me: Bossypants.

Mom: Pissy clams?

Me: (Choking on laughter) BOSSY. PANTS.

Mom: Oh. PUSSY clamps.

Me: No. Not Pussy clamps! BOSSY. PANTS.

Mom: With a P??

Me: Pants is with a P.

Mom: Pussy pants?

Me: No! Not pussy. Bossy.

Mom: P like Paul?

Me: B like Bossy.

(No response.)

And Brandy.

Mom: Oh! B!! BUSTY pants!

Me: Bossy.

Mom: Who?

Me: Like a boss. B-O-S-S.

Mom: Ohhh!! BOSSYPANTS. Ooookay.

Me: Okay.

Mom: Now, who is Tunaface?
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In conclusion...If you're in the mood for a good read, I highly recommend Tunaface Pussy Clamps.